


Control

by respoftw



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bondage, Gags, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 02:55:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3192608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz needs to let go sometimes.  Mack is there to help him.  Even when things go wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Control

Fitz was excited. Sex with Mack was always exciting but tonight they were trying something different.

Although he and Mack had taken the leap into a romantic and sexual relationship six months ago (and not a day too soon according to the rest of the team) Fitz had only worked up the courage to share this side of him a few weeks ago.

The truth was that Fitz liked to give up control sometimes. He had done lots of research into the psychology behind it when he first started having these feelings back in the Academy. It was perfectly normal for someone who worked in a high stress environment. For someone whose everyday decisions and actions had high impact. And the potential catastrophes that could occur if just one component of the devices Fitz built were to go wrong more than fit that criteria.

It was nice, sometimes, to let all that responsibility go and allow someone else to take charge. He had a few classmates at the Academy and at the lab that he trusted to help him with this but then they joined Coulson's team. And then Ward happened. And suddenly Fitz had no one that he trusted to help. But then there was Mack.

He didn't know why he waited so long to tell Mack. It wasn't a case of trust. He trusted Mack with his life, had since the first week they met. There was something about the larger man that soothed Fitz. He had seen Fitz at his worst, barely able to speak, conversing with ghosts that weren't there and yet had never made Fitz feel wrong. Or broken. 

It wasn't about trust. When Mack had questioned him about why he had waited to ask for this, Fitz didn't really have an answer. But the more he thought about it, he realised why. The sad fact was, regardless of how much better Fitz was coping with the after-effects of his brain trauma, he didn't have the responsibilities he once had. He no longer had that excuse for needing this. Which meant that needing this made him weak. Everyone already thought of him as weak, he didn't want to give them more ammunition.

A long, draining, emotional conversation with Mack had followed this realisation. It was the first time that Fitz had ever seem Mack angry. Not just angry, furious. 

“You. Are. Not. Weak.”

That was essentially what Mack's arguments boiled down to. Fitz wasn't sure if he believed that but he was convinced that Mack did. And the more time that passed, the more Fitz was coming around to Mack's way of thinking.

Once they had cleared the air, they started to experiment. Slowly, it had been a while for Fitz and Mack had never played like this before. Not that you could tell. Mack was a natural. Fitz was feeling calmer and more centred than he had since the “incident.” For his part, Mack was just happy to see the younger man relax and come out of his shell more.

The past few weeks had seen a marked improvement in Fitz. He was more confident, held himself taller and interacted more with the team. Everything was going wonderfully.

Tonight they were upping the ante a bit. Mack smiled down at Fitz who was lying on the bed with his arms stretched above his head, held in fur lined leather cuffs. They were old hats with bondage now but tonight they had a new element to introduce.

“Remember, if you need me to stop then kick me in the side. You won't be able to safe word with this in your mouth”, Mack cautioned as he held the ball gag up.

“Yes, yes, I know. I have done this before you know.”

“Cheeky.” Mack playfully swatted Fitz as he chastised him. “I think we need to shut you up.”

Fitz shivered in anticipation. He loved gags. Anyone could tell you about Fitz's tendencies to ramble endlessly. The gag stopped him doing that, forced him to remain silent. It was another way of giving up control.

Fitz sighed happily as Mack's large sure hands fastened the gag in place.

“You OK, Turbo?”

Fitz nodded happily. He was better than OK. This was the best he had felt in ages. He let himself fully relax into the bed as Mack crawled down the bed, pulling Fitz's legs over his shoulders. Fitz moaned as he felt a wet, calloused finger enter him. Mack had magic fingers. They, like everything about him, were large and perfect. He could (and had) come from just those rough, beautiful fingers, fucking himself back on them desperately.

Mack was going slow tonight though. Fitz wanted more. Fitz needed more. “Harder”, he moaned.

Except.

The words weren't coming. Why weren't the words coming? Fitz's heart started to race as he suddenly struggled to breathe. He couldn't speak. His words were failing him. Why? He had being do so much better, he didn't understand why this was happening. White noise was buzzing in his head as he tried desperately to speak. Black spots were swimming in front of him now, he couldn't catch a breath. It felt like waking up from the coma all over again.

“--ITZ!” A panicked desperate voice broke through his white noise. It was Mack. Mack was here. Mack would make it better. Mack always made it better.

“Fitz, Turbo, baby, feel my breaths. In... and Out.... in... and out....”

As Fitz came back to awareness he found himself naked, wrapped up in his boyfriends lap. Mack's broad chest was pressed close against Fitz's back, forcing him to feel the motion of his breathing.

Fitz started to relax into him, breath calming. Terrified, he tried for his words, “M-Mack”, oh thank God, “Mack, I'm sorry” he sobbed. “I'm sorry.”

“Hey, you've got nothing to be sorry about. I'm here baby, it's OK”.

Fitz sobbed uncontrollably into Mack's shoulder, the larger man letting him get it all out.

After an eternity, Fitz had managed to get control of himself. His eyes red raw he turned to Mack again. “I'm sorry”.

“Enough of that. Can you tell me what happened?”

“I...I couldn't speak.” Fitz blushed in shame. “I'm so sorry, I didn't realise the gag would make me feel like that. It..it was like how it was when I first woke up. It was so hard to get words out, they wouldn't come. I panicked. I'm sorry.”

Mack looked completely wrecked. “It was nobodies fault. We know now not to use the gag. It won't happen again. You've got your words back.”

Fitz burrowed into Mack's chest. “Can we put some clothes on and cuddle? I just need...”

“Of course baby. We can do anything you want.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was written super quick so if you spot any errors let me know. This idea just wouldn't leave me alone.


End file.
